Trust.

I have to admit, trusting God all the time - is REALLY hard. I didn't feel like it today, and I certainly didn't want to last night. I wanted to mope in despair, and yell and scream, and be angry at the injustice of life. (I think having a hurt knee and having to give up all my precious and adored outdoor recreation - began it's toll on me.) Laugh if you will (please do), but I MISS exercising. I miss the way it makes me feel happy, healthy, alive...I miss the times Mom and I would go for jogs together...I miss feeling like I accomplished something.

I hate being stuck indoors in a messy house, that no matter how many times I clean - it is trashed again the next day. I hate that I have so many books to read, it stresses me out thinking I will never get to spend adequate time to really study all of them. I hate that when I desperately want to spend time with God, our time feels forced and rushed. I hate when I pray, and nothing seems to happen. I hate when I have a bad attitude, and I make life miserable for other people too.

- Now hate is an extremely strong word...so let's just say, I don't actually hate those things...they just get me discouraged, and they are what I focus on when I am not focusing on God.

I am so human, and SO imperfect. I like to try really hard to be perfect....but I fail epic-ly every time. That is why today, I was reminded again that I am human. I am not perfect. I can do nothing good on my own, because there is nothing good in me. Only God is good. Only God is perfect. and only God can truly love those around me the way they need to be loved.

So today, I choose to trust God. I choose to remember that he is good, all the time, and he is kindness, and he is love. I choose to focus on Him, and the love he has for me, and for you, and for everybody all the time. I'm not walking this road a lone, I can't even pretend to... I am not alone. He walks right beside me, Emmanuel - God is with us. "....be sure of this; I am with you wherever you go." Work. Church. The bathroom. (Hahaha, ok had to throw that in... because it sometimes perplexes me). School. Your car. Your heart. Your thoughts. Your emotions.

Nothing is to big of a problem for God. Trust me, you may be a mess (hey, me too!) but God is in control. He really is. He is someone you can trust. He has your best interests in mind. Surrender....trust the Lord. He loves you. You are not alone. He is right beside you.