Dairy Queen.

Weds was truely an inspired day! Not only did I have that fantastic time with God, I also went out for coffee with some friends, biked to work in the freezing, pouring rain, had a great bible study with Elena and Debbie at the office, and helped out at Remix. I have missed those kids! This time I was with the younger kids - which means more kids, and more bouncing around, trying to keep each kid doing their work and not distracting the others around them. It's difficult, to say the least, but tons of fun. I even managed to sneak in a sketch of an elephant, which the kids loved. :) Then I helped in the kitchen to prepare for the big Thanksgiving dinner we were serving. Finally I sat down at a table with Mr. Hall, Sophie, and four adorable boys. We ate ourselves silly, chatted and had a good time. When we got home, Sophie and Emma and I made cards from magazine scraps. It was fun being so creative! Thursday was an especially inspired day: I baked myself into oblivion! Seriously; I made mulitple dozens of cookies for church (filled up a big red pail full of cookies), brownies for a friend at school, and took on the making of a rolled pumpkin cake. Amazingly, everything turned out okay! Then I took nap. At 6, I went to work at Dairy Queen. Up until yesterday, I have just been in the kitchen making burgers, but yesterday, I moved up in the world - and also got to make a few blizzards! The blizzard machine was trickier than I thought, and I made some funny looking blizzards, but it got better as time went on. Around closing time we got a big rush, so I was retired to the dish pit. I washed and I scrubbed, and I rised and I sanitised, and then I went home; Greatly enjoying the golden minivan I get to borrow for my tiny commute. It's friday today and I have the day off. I plan to relax and enjoy. Hope you are having a lovely, inspired day today as well.

Lessons from a Pumpkin Roll.

My goodness! It has been an incredible past couple a days! First off, Weds. I woke up with huge ambitions to run, but took one look at the freezing cold rain pouring down, and decided against it; and decided to spend some time with God instead. I read Jonah, a book in the bible I don't normally appreciate because I feel like in the end, the wicked people get away with doing bad things... But God showed me they don't; and reminded me that those people he saved were more than just "wicked people." They were people too. They made mistakes, and maybe a few really bad choices, but who doesn't? God has the amazing ability to see our hearts; and sees us apart from the things we do. *We are more than the choices we make. I am not a bad person, because I do bad things (well maybe if I did them habitually) but in this case, God was showing me that he can still (and does) punish the sin, but redeems the person. Therefore the wicked do not get away with doing bad things - the bad things get punished, but you and I are not - We go free! (Ponder this: it will amaze you.) [God is not a big angry man, trying to punish you for everything slighty off key thing you've ever done...Any condemnation we feel is from ourselves or the devil, not from God. God loves us. He desires the absolute best for us. (Just like we don't allow our dogs to chew off their legs just because they have flees, God sometimes has to put us in a cone - allow us to be uncomfortable for a bit - while he works to get rid of the pesky problem makers that cause us to harm ourselves.) Don't get it? Sin is death. It eats away at us, makes us miserable, and kills us. God is trying to remove sin from our lives to make us happier, healthier people. He wants to give us life, and he wants us to enjoy our lives! To the FULLEST (John 10:10).] I thought of this again today when I made a pumpkin yule log (a major accomplishment for me!). At first the log was just a rolled up cake. Nothing too fancy...but then you cut off each end, and sprinkle powered sugar on top, and the cake is transformed into a beautiful work of art; (the delicious edible kind!). Well the cake may be upset with you for taking off parts of it that it may have been quite fond of, but the end result reveals a much more beautiful cake! The beauty was there all along, it was just hidden. God sees who we are. He sees our "hidden beauty." He knows who he created us to be, and choses to see that instead of who we make ourselves out to be. I have found that the more I press into God, the more I realize he is not mad at me, or out to get me. Quite the opposite actually; he wants to take care of me. I am not a failure in his eyes (nor are you). I am someone worth fighting for (so are you). He also promises to never leave or abandon us. He's going to stick it out till the end; nevering giving up on us. Here's some comfort food for the soul: "For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." Isaiah 41:13. Isaiah 66:13 . "As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you; and you will be comforted over...” Joshua 1:5,9 " I will never leave you nor forsake you." "...the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." If you read this, I believe God is trying to get your attention: take heart, he loves you!

Baked Oatmeal.

Hello Dearest Friends and Family! (And whoever else may read this blog). Today I attempted to make baked oatmeal.(I love cooking and baking!) If I had followed the recipe, it would have been amazing! (But, my oatmeal was already made from breakfast yesterday.) I thought I could just pop it in the oven...but it turns out, you have to add things like egg, and milk, and applesauce...and sugar and baking soda. Which I did, and added a little flour too...but it still turned out like, well, hot oatmeal. It was certainly not cake texture, but it tastes fine. I took a picture of it, and that inspired me to share more pictures when I blog. After all, pictures say more than words can. Unfortunately, I haven't taken too many pictures. (Unless you want to see a million of the fall leaves...). I have been having some fun! A couple weeks ago, I got my makeup done with a friend at Nordstroms; never done that before! It was quite fun, and my makeup artist Kelley, was a sweetheart. I then went shopping, and got some great deals on some new outfits! I visited home and saw almost every person I've ever known (it was wonderful :)), and I've been hanging out with the family I live with. Each morning I make the girls breakfast and help them make it to the bus on time. However today, we just barely made it, and ended up running the 1/4 mi to the bus stop. It was a great morning wake up! Sure works better than coffee. I also just got a job at DQ. It's a far cry from the comfortable, lovely job I wanted as a coffee shop Barista, but it's near by, and it will do. At least I have another job! (I say this, but I'm honestly still struggling with being truly grateful.) Yesterday, Sunday, I had a great coffee date with my wonderful friend Elena. We went to church together too, and had some great conversation about where we are at in life; so much transition and change for the both of us. We came to the conclusion that I am at a crisis in faith. Though most people do not know, much of my depression came from a spiritual struggle. A struggle to discover the truth; who is God? Who am I? Is there a God? Why Jesus? Budda? Hinduism? Islam? I even declared myself agnostic for awhile...(even less people knew that.) Most of my questions were summed up in - Is the bible true? How do we know? Does God love me? If I stop following God - will he pursue me, or abandon me? Who is God really? I can't say I've done super extensive research, but I have read a couple christian apologetic books (Lee Strobel, CS Lewis, Philip Yancy), talked to Pastors, and questioned anyone who calls them self a christian. I also looked into other religions. But still, most of my questions remain. Why do people so sincerely believe what they grow up with? Why do they never question? If a relationship with God is really something we can have, why don't more people look into it? Why are we so afraid of there being a God? Why do we take other people's opinions, but never make our own? What makes Jesus so offensive? What if Jesus really is God? One day (recently), when I was super depressed, I decided to wander around the Library. Oddly, nothing stood out to me, not even the things I love. Travel, Languages, Cooking, Art...I wanted to be excited about each one of them, but every time I picked up a book, I became totally uninterested - unfulfilled. On a whim, I decided to check out biographies (why not? I haven't read a whole lot of those.) Expecting to find only big books on really famous people, I was surprised to notice a little book with a cool cover. It had a tan background, with a red Japanese cherry tree gracing the rest of it. (Tan and red is what I was going to decorate my new room!)I pulled it out and read the cover; "Heaven without Her" - "must be about a gilded lover," I thought, scoffing at what I expected to find. Turning it over, I read the back. It was a (real and true) story of an atheist woman with a christian Mom, and how when her Mom dies, her search for the truth about "Who we are, why we are here, and where we are going", leads her to a firm belief in biblical Christianity. I felt like I had been punched in the gut, and stood there for a few moments with my mouth gawking open. While I was slightly excited to find this book, and I was also kind of angry. Of all the books, in this entire Library (it was a HUGE library) I happened to pick up this one? Why? I don't want to listen to a christian tell me how great Christianity is - but wait; she was an atheist...this is someone's story. It's real. While I wasn't so sure God was real, I knew this lady obviously was, and I became very curios to read her story. So I took the book home and read it. (But out of stubbornness, before leaving the library, I read a few chapters in a dictionary of Islam. Glanced at a book of Hinduism, and read some stuff in a science textbook. It was all incredibly interesting, to say the least...). I was very impressed by the content in this little book that had found its way into my life. The lady had done very extensive research; almost 10 years of it, and had very thoroughly examined science's claim for and against God. I was satisfied that her journey to God was not an ignorant, nor emotionally biased conclusion. It was not a psychological result of her circumstances. It was a very logical and intellectual conclusion as the result of facts and deep, objective research. Very satisfied, I was able to lay aside some of the other theological books I had been studying, and relax. Peace somehow seeped into my life, and calmed my restless, broken heart, and slowed my racing mind. I was filled with a cautious hope that maybe, just maybe, what I grew up believing just may be true.