CHANGE

Hello Everyone, I know it has been way too long since I last updated my blog, but I thought I would...since I'm off on another adventure! For those of you who don't know... I just moved to Burien, WA (over by the Sea-Tac Airport). It's only a couple hrs away, so come visit. :) Haha, anyways, after graduating high school and college last June, I decided I wanted to do a discipleship school - get to know God better, move to Africa, save orphans... Pretty solid plan, except I didn't have any money. So I ended up working for a few months, and then quitting work to take care of my Grandpa for awhile. After a few months of that, I grew completely restless and starting looking into colleges (anything to get me out of the house). I ended up at Northwest University,which was a nice escape for awhile,but it soon became a prison of it's own. By the time the semester ended, I was a wreck. I had completely lost all since of direction, I was hopeless, and and I was depressed. I knew in my heart, and in my mind, that I had strayed from God's plan for me...and I had compromised for his good, instead of his best. This summer I wrestled with my thoughts and emotions even more - heartbroken, confused...and drained. By the end of this summer, I was completely exhausted - in every meaning of the word. Life became survival, instead of living. I had no peace, no joy, no hope. Just a very, very, broken heart. Praise God, a week before I had to return to school, I learned of an opportunity to do an internship with a "lady who likes to travel around dangerous places in Africa helping orphans." "Wow," I thought, "That couldn't be more perfect for me." I got her number and gave her call. Turns out, I had already talked to her a few months earlier, in hopes of going to Liberia with her organization. About five years ago, she and her husband started an organization called Orphan Relief and Rescue -http://www.orphanreliefandrescue.org/ . They strive to help orphans that no one else will help; and do so in a very personal way - so that each kid they help has a name, a dream, a destiny. They are not just a number, a statistic, or an orphan...They are loved, cared for, and protected, and they are somebody. Anyways, I was surprised it was the same organization, but very pleasantly surprised because I felt like their mission was/is very closely aligned with my own hopes and dreams for helping orphans. We chatted on the phone for a bit, and set up a time to meet in the next few weeks. During this time I also decided NOT to go back to school, and it was the most liberating choice I have ever made. I was free...but what now? I thought I might stay at home for a bit...get a job at a coffee shop, save up some money, be around my family...whatever. It didn't really matter, I barely knew who I was anymore - pretty much just a skeleton of a person anyway. I began to get really comfortable at home, even had some dreams of starting my own small business..but God wasn't done with me yet. In the very deepest part of my heart, I had hidden a wish that I was too afraid to hope for - a hope that I could somehow do this internship I had learned about. I met with Rebecca, the CEO of Orphan Relief and Rescue, and had a sort of interview with her. Then I spoke with her husband, the President of their organization. I told God that if this was his will for me, he would have to reveal it to them - because I was just too confused. To my relief, after what I had thought to be a disastrous phone call with her husband (Tim Pratt), he told me I'd be perfect for the internship. I was still pretty shook up, but I was excited. Then I met with them in person, and met their staff- and I LOVED them. After hearing them explain the internship program even more, I couldn't believe it - I felt like it had been perfectly designed just for me, or me for it - for exactly where I am at this point in my life. It was amazing. But wait, then it gets even better! :) I applied for jobs, and got a job at Emerald City Smoothie! (For those of you who know me, you know I'm obsessed with smoothies and nutrition - so it's perfect for me!) So now I'm here, in Burien about to start this internship. It begins on Oct. 16. Just a few more weeks! I can't believe how good God is to me. It blows me away. When I'm at my absolute lowest point in life, about to give up on God - he shows me how much he loves me, and how much he cares. I guess I just need to remember that just because I'm a mess, in a mess I made - it doesn't put God in a mess. He's still in control, and he knows what he's doing. He has a plan for my life - a good one. I am overwhelmed. He is so good. I just need to put all my trust, and all my faith in him. Believing in him, and taking him at his word. So anyways, that's where I am in life. Just taking it day by day - learning to trust God completely...learning to fall in love with him. Learning about his love for me. It's a scary place to be...but it's the best place to be.

Philippines Dec 9-20, 2010

This year's trip was much different. Stephen came again, David (our little brother), and our friend Zach came. We had a very pleasant one day layover in Hawaii, and spent the day swimming in the ocean and walking around town and down the beach. It was beautiful. We also climbed a bunch of trees, and swung on their vines till our hands were raw. It was awesome. We also saw a bunch of homeless people, but they weren't begging or moping... They looked pretty happy. I would be.

Makes me wonder though, is anything being done for them? Do they want to be that way? (Haha, I wonder if anyone would support a missionary to Hawaii?)

In the Philippines, I started off the trip laying in a tent for two days, listening to planes fly 5 ft above my head every five minutes (not much of an exaggeration). I had a headache so bad, I didn't even realize I had a fever too. When I was feeling a little better, we went to the hospital. I was fine, just a little tonsolittis. I spent the rest of the time on 6 pills, and a mouth wash. It was a good adventure.

The rest of our time was spent mostly rushing from place to place, or doing absolutely nothing - but fighting off red ants, and filling their holes with dish soap. We also had fun picking mangos off our tree from the top of our roof. We also had a guava tree. I thought guava's were pink, but now I know they also come in white. They tasted pretty good.

One night, we went out to the streets to "observe." We talked to a bunch a kids, and basically asked them why they live on the streets, and how did they got there. Most of them have run away from their homes because of abuse. Two kids, John Mark and Omar, wanted to come live with us, so we brought them home. It was so funny though, because our bus kept breaking and kept breaking, and it took us three times longer to make it home.

John Mark opened up quickly and told us a lot, but had a problem with disobedience. After a couple days he had to sent back. Not to worry though, Pastor Rey will keep checking up on him. We're not finished with him yet.

Omar, on the other hand, is a great kid. He's only 11, and i still don't know why he was on the streets - probably also because of abuse. He is such a goof ball and such a love. My favorite memory of him was when I gave him a toothbrush. He was so tickled! He was laughing his heart out, and running around the house shouting "toothbrush, toothbrush!" Everything we gave him, would send him into heaps of laughter and excitment. It was great.

I'm excited for him too, because soon he'll be able to go back to school, and I know he is so loved at the orphanage!

We also met a woman named Beth, who ran away from her home with her six kids and has been living on the streets, selling peanuts 12 hrs a day to make a living. Scratch that, to earn a meal.

Her face says so much, and she is one of the most beautiful women i have ever seen. I can't believe all she has been through. It is so heart breaking, and yet she is so strong, and so easy going. Her personality just draws people to her. Especially the street kids; it took me a couple days to figure out which ones were actually hers.

Praise God, we were able to get her a bright pink house, and got her started with an electric stove, some food, and some other stuff you need for a house. Because of that we spent a lot of time in the market, and made a bunch of friends! Mostly kids, and they would follow us everywhere. We were quite a sight.

Most the time though, we were at the orphanage, just hanging out with all the kids there. I don't think I have ever played more ninja destruction in my life. ( Or, "ninja construction!" as Omar would say).

One of the girls, KC turned 18 that month, so we had a big birthday party for her, and more than 80 people showed up! She is such a hard working, loving girl. I was happy for her. :) She's the one who makes us bracelets and necklaces every year.

We also drove a couple hours away to Taygaytay. We visted a look out on top of a mountain, and prayed over the north, south, east, and west areas of the philippines. We also visited Colossians Gardens - a beautiful place! Pastor Rey's friend owns it, and is a very strong christian. He allows Pastor Rey to us it as a bible camp for all the kids in the program. (Papa Rey provides scholarships to kids who are truely in need, and really want to finish their education; pretty awesome!)

We also traveled to Borcay of Novelta. A gorgeous beach tucked away on a marine base. My favorite parts were the water, all warm and fantastic, climbing trees with a three year old (Beth's daughter Elisa), and eating bbq-ed pork. So delicious!

Our last day was spent riding a jeepney to the mall. Riding another jeepney to a train. Taking a train to the market. Working our way through the market, buying some not-worth-all-this-hassle souvenirs, and then repeating to get back to the mall. Then to the airport.

I will miss all their beautiful faces! It's ridiculous how much we fall in love with them, and how amazing how much God loves them! It was a good trip.

Heaven

Last night I heard a song called "Can I stay here forever?" (Starfield), and it made me ponder heaven.
I had this thought...what if Heaven was like a dream..? Like you go to this place, and it's wonderful. There's a warm glow that warms you to your insides, and makes your face smile. It's so peaceful. The weather is just right...not too hot, not cold. It looks like spring - flowers everywhere. Everything seems so alive! Some children run past you laughing. "This is a cool place" you think to yourself. Everyone you meet is so joyful, and so kind. But they also seem so real and down to earth, you feel so comfortable just hanging out with them. You feel youself, letting go...of everything. It's like whatever you're missing, it must be here. You breathe in...and breathe out...smiling. You love it here. A man approaches you. He smiles as he comes. Right away the two of you hit it off and start talking...you end up talking for hours! This guy is super cool, and he's funny too, but he is also the most loving person you ever meet. He likes to listen to you, really listen to you. You don't feel judged in anyway at all, and you pour out your heart to him, the good and the bad. He doesn't mind at all...He tells you about forgiveness found in Jesus, and asks if you want it. You say yes, and pray together. He tells you your sins are gone, and to "Remember them no more, you're free my child!" You like that he calls you his child..you feel so special and so loved, and also so light, and so free!
You feel like dancing. So you do! Your friend joins you, and someone starts playing some music, and other people join in. It's a party! You can't help but to think how awesome this place is.
When all calms down, you go to eat with your friend, on the hillside. Just chillin and taking it in... and continue talking. He's delighted to see you, and tells you he really enjoys talking to you. You still can barely believe that you have meet someone so caring, so thoughtful, so nice...so fun. You love it, and your heart is so happy and pure feeling...you can't contain your joy - it is written all over your face. You are overwhelmed by the love that pours from his eyes into yours...During a moment of sweet silence..you look out at the distance...and ask..."Can I stay here forever? Here, with you?"

That's when you wake up. You realize the man you were talking to was Jesus. You can't believe Heaven could be a place so awesome...You're in awe, and yet you still feel so happy. You can't wait to go back!!

My (Ann) eyes have been opened! For me, Heaven was always something that I struggled with...I can't gasp it with my mind...it seemed so distant, so far away...so fake. (All lies from the Devil!) But for a long time...I just didn't understand. Thankfully, God has really opened my eyes through this song, and his word, and now I can't wait to go to Heaven! I realize now, it's a place where I'm gonna go when I die, and I won't want to leave. I'll want to stay there forever. And when I ask Jesus if I can stay forever, he'll look at me and smile, and say "Of course!"

I've had a paradigm shift, and just wanted to share this with you all! :)

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only son (Jesus) [to die in our place] that whoever believes in him, should not die [and go to hell] but have a everlasting life [Heaven!]"
John 3:16

Believe in Jesus! I want you in Heaven with me! :)